My mama said that happy endings are usually a white lie.
happy endings dont exactly exists in this world.
because when one experience a happy ending,
they'll feel happy at first, but they forgotten the price they 'paid' for the happy ending.

After some time, when they realised the price they've paid,
they start to regret what they've done.
Then the happiness from the happy ending, wont exists anymore.

Really makes me wonder about that. happy endings are so relative. ive always thought it depends on both parties and it'll turn out one{happy ending} if both of them are happy. who knew, there was a different perspective to this. &from my Mama.

To some extent, i find what she said about happy endings is true. remember when i was young, when i foolishly believed those stories like cinderella or snow white ? when your knight in shiny armour would appear and save you and you'll live happily ever after? so far, living about almost 16years in this world, i dont remember anything like that ever happened. i mean, maybe its because im still young and maybe my 'knight in shining armour' might come when im older. but now,i think, teenage love is completely childish. we argue over stupid things and we get hurt so easily. and for what price ? get hurt again ? so that we would find our 'happy ending' at the end of the day ?

Love is something very open. i guess, it's hard to open ones heart maybe it's becuase you had enough 'exposure' to the topic and you dont wish to 'revisit' the topic until you're ready that kind of thing ? i guess so. i dont know and never felt that one's love for someone else can be so strong that even after a long time, you'll still love that person. sometimes, maybe it's because im weird.

i did met a person, whom love this person so much that even after a year later, he/she still loves the other party. i admire the other party so much to have met someone like that. but somehow, somethings that arent meant to be, wont be together in the end.

but somehow, sometimes i do wish that you would be like that person. a person whom i love you and in return, you'll love me back. shower me all the love in the world and we'll just have the time of our life. i did wished that before. i thought you were before. but somehow, i guess im falling in love with the person whom i wanted&wished you could be and not the you in reality. but even though i fallen in love with that person, at the same time i fallen in love with the real you. how funny can love gets eh. well, i suppose all these doesnt matter.

i used to tell this to someone " Let her go. she have already moved on with life and you should too. once you've really moved on with life, you'll never look back. and even if you did look back, your heart will never return to the way it was then. the way you love the person back then" letting something go is easy. forgetting someone isnt that hard either. but trying to make your heart move on, might be a little bit tougher than anyone expected it to be. though ive moved on, somehow memories of you came flowing back to my mind. the times at the swing. when i threw something into the river, when we would walk that long journey after a awesome dinner at prataplace and when we would go to the beach. i really love that night before the camp, at the beach. you took the time out to spend time with me, solely just spending time and enjoying one another's company. when the time, on the esplanade rooftop when you asked and we threw stones. when the time, we started naming buildings are our toilets, cupboards, kitchen and all. when the time, we go to borders or kino to make fun of 'psycology for dummies' and other books. when the time, we'll get pretzels and go to the toyshop at taka and play with all the toys inside. when the time we head to town every saturday evening after my tuition. when the time we would have dinners at NYNY and when my coke float overflow. when the time we went to the singapore river and started saying what if a guy pee-d from the bridge above into the river. when the time you hugged me before i go into my house. when the time during the 10th anniversary full dress rehearsal, you left your phone in my file&your mum called and i ran to give it to you & you hugged me and said you were touched. when the time i skipped tuition and we went to semb beach to hear the ocean breeze and you'll hold my hand while i was in deep thoughts. when the time we laughed at our past and said what an asshole we were back then. when the time, you said next chinese new year you'll come over again like two years ago. when the time, we would laugh at others ____. when the time you were all-pokemon. &when the time, i'd laugh at your childhood pictures and you'll tell me not to. when the time i said you were my motivation to study and you said that i will be yours when school starts for you. and when the time, you asked me out for Valentine's.

Ive always wanted you to come for this year's SCI. to see me perform on stage with my fellow councillors for our sec4 item and i want you to be there sitting at the invited guests and supporting me all the way. i guess, that wasnt going to happen. not fated to happen i suppose. sometimes, i dont know how am i going to response to you on SCI day. i really wonder, be friendly? be bimbotic? or will it be awkward ? i really dont know.

I guess many have mistaken between me & _. we're just close friends. i listen to _ and _ listens to me when i need a listening ear. he watches out for me and i do the same for him. thats all. nevermind, i think i should stop saying all this. bye.